100 Funniest Animal Jokes of All Time

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?

They had a reptile dysfunction.
Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they are shellfish.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork chop!
Why do bees hum?

Because they don't know the lyrics.
What did the buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?

It gets toad away.
What do you call a duck that gets straight A's?

A wise quacker.
What did the beaver say to the tree?

It's been nice gnawing you.
Where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

The stock market.
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?

Hare spray!
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

This tastes a little funny.
What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little horse.
How do you make an octopus laugh?

Give them ten tickles.
What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow wh- MOOOOO!
Why did the chicken hold a seance?

To get to the other side.
Where do baby cows eat lunch?

At the calf-eteria!
What do you call a bald porcupine?

Pointless.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!
Why should you buy a bird?

They are going cheep!
Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.
What's gooey, yellow, and smells like bananas?

Monkey snot!
Two monkeys are in the bath. One turns to the other and says, "Ooo oo ahh ahh!"

The second monkey says, "well, put in some cold water!"
What's a cat's favorite day of the week?

Cat-urday!
What do you call a cat that loves bowling?

An alley cat.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

A thesaurus!
What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
Why do birds fly south in the winter?

Because it's too far to walk!
What did the teddy bear say after dinner?

I am stuffed!
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator!
Where do sheep get haircuts?

At the baa-ber shop!
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.